Expert advice for single people. From slow dating to zombing, between dating apps and common sense

The global pandemic and the consequent lockdown have led everyone to ask themselves &quot;Is it possible to have sex during Covid? Only with regular partners, and what do singles do?&quot;. Today, on the occasion of the Single Day, an unofficial holiday born in China in the 90s on the idea of the students of the Nanjing University and which has now become an opportunity to shop with crazy discounts in all sectors, we decided to talk of &quot;single life during a pandemic&quot;, to understand together what can and cannot be done and how far it is allowed to go, in compliance with the rules of course.

In response to a social distancing that led to the loss of physical contacts, the sales of sex toys have registered dizzying numbers and Pornhub has totaled + 57% in the first day of free access to premium services. And then the dating apps, mostly for fantasizing. Tinder, for example, pampers its subscribers with a Harmony novel slogan like &quot;Beautiful things happen to those who wait&quot; and grants a free passport , which is a feature that allows you to chat with people all over the world. And so from bed pals to pen pals it&#39;s a moment. The seductive mechanism also changes: we return to long courtships, games of glances and intense conversations of acquaintance. In short, everything is done to preserve the libido and a semblance of normality: it was in fact Sigmund Freud in the first place in some of his reflections on sexual desire to explain how the latter is deeply affected by fear. In fact, it has been proven that the sexual impulses in hypochondriacal subjects who strongly fear the disease are reduced exponentially. In many cases one ends up disengaging from sexuality and desire in response to the lack of libidinal reserves. In order to prevent this scenario from manifesting itself, we have collected for you a series of reflections by the sexologist Marco Rossi (yes, Marco Rossi of the Loveline broadcast on MTV ) who offers valuable advice for singles but also for couples on how to navigate the complicated world of sexuality in such a delicate historical moment.

THE 5 BEST DATING APPS

<ul>
	<li>Tinder : The most popular app ever; easy and fun to use allows you to find what you are looking for when you want</li>
	<li>Bumble : For brave women ready to make the first move</li>
	<li>Match : The App to try if you are looking for a long-term love</li>
	<li>Happn : The app that allows you to track down everyone who has crossed your path</li>
	<li>Okcupid : The app that allows you to find a match based on who you really are and what you love</li>
</ul>

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THE REFLECTIONS OF THE SEXOLOGIST MARCO ROSSI

The new dynamics of relationships: The sexologist explains how we are returning to the slow dating typical of the 50s. Courtships, amorous skirmishes and long dialogues at a safe distance are the basis of the seduction game in the Covid era. Bed pals turn into pen pals and dating apps go from being bait for casual sex to a vehicle for endless conversations to keep company (for the lucky ones, they will then move from texting to sexting). A new phenomenon that appears on the scene is &quot; zombing&quot; : the disclosure of the ex who, feeling safer from the point of view of the potential contagion, reappear in the lives of the now ex partners proposing flashbacks in great style.

How the seductive game changes: Doctor Rossi explains that first of all the possibility of &quot;smelling&quot; potential partners will disappear: it is no longer possible to metaphorically smell the other through facial expressions, the smile, the first important sign, is now hidden. The solution is to refine other perceptions: it will be possible to smell through the smile of the eyes, the only part of the face not covered by the masks and through the words, which will have an increasingly important weight. For the first time in a very long time, you will be led to pay more attention to what the other is saying: as a direct consequence, a whole new sensitivity will develop and to be explored.

Being single during the lockdown: The sexologist explains how he found that his single patients are arming themselves with great patience: one reason behind this is the fact that the absence of possibilities ends up affecting desire as well. Furthermore, this anomalous period must be seen as a time of waiting and sowing, a chance to get to know oneself and others better before jumping headlong into a new relationship.

What will remain of the trauma when everything is over: Marco Rossi argues that initially we will struggle to stop seeing the other as a vehicle of infection, because the fear was strong. But then, as the memory fades, we will be able to put everything behind us, as we did with AIDS. The important thing is to continue to remain cautious from a sexual point of view, because the risk of infections has always been high and will continue to be.

Single Day: sex during Covid

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